Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 5:25 pm Post subject: Drunk
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it's 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asks his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answeres.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring down rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," said his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 9:28 pm Post subject:
Two women go drinking.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they really needed to pee. Since
they were passing a graveyard, one of them suggested they do their
business behind a head stone.
The first woman had nothing to dry herself with, so she thought she'd
take off her panties, use them, and then throw them away.
Her friend was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't
want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath
that was on one of the graves. So she dried herself with the ribbon.
The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and
said, "This girl's night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife
came home last night without her panties!"
That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came home with a card
stuck to her ass that said,
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